My love life has recently taken a turn for the worse. In an effort to broaden my horizons and potentially find that one guy for me I am currently taking applications for THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVAR!!!!!1111!. I have made a pdf of the application and all those who are interested are urged to apply. Good Luck.
application-for-the-position-of-best-boyfriend-evar
Recently I was thinking about my freshman year at my college, Oberlin College, and recalled my FANTASTIC roommate who we shall refer to as “Rebecca”. I have absolutely no clue why Rebecca chose to come to Oberlin, let alone why the hell she was my roommate because we were incredibly different in most ways. While she was really naive and innocent, well…I wasn’t exactly, and anyone who knows me knows that I’m not exactly what ANYONE would call innocent save maybe Jenna Jameson. Rebecca however, seemed to exercise Puritan levels of…well “purity”. She was appalled at any conversation that mentioned drugs or sex and probably had never seen another person naked, or half naked in her life. This frustrated me greatly. I mean, this girl is at OBERLIN, we are known for being hippie potheads, and while I don’t smoke pot and I’m not a hippie, I don’t cringe at the thought of either of those things. Anyway, when thinking of her a particular anecdote comes to mind, well several:
1. SHOWERS: Like most colleges we have communal showers. There is usually a gender-neutral bathroom and probably two gender specific ones, male and female. At first everyone is worried about the showers; you’re new to the school and you’re not sure what to expect but most people eventually get over that and are fairly comfortable. NOT REBECCA. Instead of wearing a towel to walk to the bathroom that was across the hall or upstairs, she’d wear all of her clothes, change into to the towel in a bathroom stall, shower, and then get dressed in the stall. I can only imagine the amount of trouble she had to go through to accomplish this, but I suppose this made her more “comfortable”. On top of that, she was so uncomfortable with the idea of communal showers that she only showered every other day and for a maximum of five minutes each time. I can remember being completely shocked when she returned because it was the fastest shower ever (this even includes washing and conditioning her hair!). It was very odd.
2. GETTING DRESSED: We had a divided double which is basically two rooms combined into one. You have the comfort of having a roommate but there is a wall and a door separating the rooms so you also have privacy when you want it. I think I got comfortable with the idea that she might see me with my top or my pants off occasionally long before I came to college, but she was very comfortable. She was SO uncomfortable that she’d jam the door shut while getting dressed even if I was ASLEEP. I don’t think that I would really be able to watch her get dressed/undressed if I was asleep but everyday I was awaken by the slamming of the door shut. How can anyone be that uptight? I lived with her for a year and she did this the entire time.
3. SEX AND/OR ANY ROMANTIC ACTIVITY THAT COULD POSSIBLY LEAD TO SEX: I think I have already confirmed that Rebecca was pretty damn uptight. She was probably the most uptight about anything mildly sexual. I think I mentioned masturbation to her once that entire year and she said something like “oh god, can we please not talk about this?”. Rebecca decided that when we signed our roommate agreement that we would have to agree to ask the other person before inviting any visitors, particularly boys, and that most of the time we would refrain from having boys over. Needless to say, she was not very enthusiastic to have my current boyfriend hanging around in the room for fear of walking in on us kissing or having sex or *gasp* TOUCHING. This annoyed me as well as my boyfriend, he even suggested that we have sex just to see what she would do. It was indeed very awkward, I couldn’t even hold my boyfriend’s hand while sitting on my bed because I was afraid she might spaz out and douse me with holy water or something. I don’t think I can go into this anymore for fear of offending someone who might randomly read this, but if you want to hear a very funny story regarding Rebecca and I feel free to ask.
So, basically, Rebecca was pretty much the opposite of who I am. I don’t know why they would pair us together, but of course the roommate survey said nothing about awkwardness or purity. I’m sure I could think of about a million more things to prove that she was in fact super awkward, but that’d take entire too much time and I should probably be doing more productive things…like homework ;).
IThis dream isn’t anything special, but it’s the first that I’ve had since I decided to start writing them down. I’m hoping that by writing them all down I will be able to remember more of them, but my brain has obviously decided that it doesn’t give me anything to write about.
I don’t remember that many concrete details about this dream, so I doubt that it means anything in particular. Here are some basic things that happened:
Overall, I’m sure it’s a pretty meaningless dream. I have no hopes of becoming a Playboy Bunny, although I do want a kitten. I’m not willing to pose nude to get said kitten though, so don’t get any ideas.