blagophilia

“True strength lies in submission which permits one to dedicate his life, through devotion, to something beyond himself.”
–Henry Miller

Just relaxing on a wet Sunday and some things came to mind that needed saying.

As anyone who reads this blog with any frequency knows, I recently met someone. She affects me in ways I did not think I could be affected anymore. In ways, I thought I no longer wanted to be affected. The way life seems to work I guess none of this should be a real surprise.

“She walks in beauty, Like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies; And all that’s best of dark and bright Meet in her aspect and her eyes.” - Lord Byron

So there I was just doing my thing when a random response t o something I twittered caught my eye, and perhaps a little more right at that moment. This is where life kicked in and played a happy joke on me. One moment I am doing my thing, and the next I am finding myself drawn in. But this is nothing new.

She is a dedicated person; she has a calling. Here it is medicine. For this, I respect and admire her. It is not an easy thing she is doing, that she wants. It takes time, drive, and a dedication to something other than yourself. Most people cannot, or will not do this. She recently got an acceptance into a M.D./PhD program. So I hope everyone can join me in saying congratulations to her.

Congratulations hon!!!

I am so happy for her, and something else occurred to me while I was thinking about this. I had to ask myself a question. I know she will be very busy. She will need to work hard, to work long hours. It will be the main driving point of her life. And so I asked myself, is this something that I can accept? Can I, will I be able to and understand this, will it be OK?

The answer came before I even finished asking the question. There really is only one answer for me. Yes. Yes, it will be fine. It might not always be easy; I don’t expect it to be. But, the best things in life are never easy.

“Life is the first gift, love is the second, and understanding the third” — Marge Piercy

I may not ever fully understand why she chose medicine. I am not sure I even need to. But I do accept it, and would not have it any other way. What I can, and do understand is the need though. To be or do something. That decision to pursue it, to work so hard, to dedicate so much to something. That I can understand. That I respect and admire. It just makes me admire her more.

Many people cannot accept, or understand such a need. I don’t really understand how one could not. If you care about a person, if you love them then how could you not accept who, and what they are? I guess if you never understood then maybe I can see it. But do people blind themselves so much that they willfully refuse to see? Perhaps they do. Their needs, what they are willing to accept may not be the same.

For me though it’s about not only accepting but also about faith and trust. One should be able to put enough trust, enough faith into what exists with the other person that it would not be a problem. Maybe that is the hardest part in the end. Finding that faith, finding that trust.

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